Hyper Kanda
by WouldBeExorcist
Summary: Lavi tricks Kanda on overdosing on sugar, and weirdness ensues. Let's just hope Kanda doesn't remember what happens. One-shot


Jerry watched with slight amusement as Lavi hovered over the stove where the soba was cooking. The redhead was looking rather mischievous this morning.  
"Lavi, hon, I'd rather you not do that. It gives me the feeling you're about to poison someone."  
Lavi glanced up at Jerry, now looking a little too innocent.  
"Ok, ok. I was just, uh... Marvelling at how good it smells in here."  
Jerry smiled and turned away to cut vegetables. "Come on now, off with you."  
Jerry didn't see Lavi pour a bag of sugar into the dipping sauce.

"Hey, Yu! Can I have some soba?"  
Kanda growled. "No way, stupid rabbit. And don't call me that!"  
Lavi continued smiling as Allen sat down with his food mountain. The white-haired boy looked suspiciously at the future Bookman, knowing that look all too well. That was Lavi's 'I'm about to cause something very destructive and horrible yet highly amusing' face.  
He turned in growing fear to look at what Lavi was gazing so intently at. Kanda's soba. He had to stop Kanda from eating it. He didn't know what, but Lavi had obviously done something to the noodles. Something that could only end in violent bloodshed by the swordsman's hands.  
"Kanda, wait-!"  
It was too late. Kanda had already picked up some soba and swirled it in the dipping sauce, and put it in his mouth. After a moment, Kanda promptly spat it out again. Gross.  
The poor guy was spluttering and choking on the extreme sweetness of the tampered-with sauce, obviously in great discomfort.  
"What did you do?!" Allen exclaimed.  
Lavi grinned. "Oh, nothing. I just thought the sauce could use a little sugar. Make that a lot."  
"R-Rabbit... I'll kill you... Does anyone else feel cold? I'm cold. Like, really cold. Jeez, someone make a fire. I should go for a run. Running warms you up, right, bean sprout? Man, why does that guy Toma wear bandages over his mouth? And why do you wear an eyepatch, Lavi? Huh? Huh?" Kanda was bouncing. Seriously bouncing up and down in his chair, making a face like everything was absolutely fascinating. Just staring wide eyed at everything, looking around everywhere.  
"Um, Kanda?" Allen asked, a little worried.  
"Yeah, bean sprout? What is it? What do you need? Gee, can I have that scone? It looks good. Can I eat it?" Kanda bubbled rapidly, looking back and forth between Allen and a scone near him.  
"Uh, sure..." Allen passed it to Kanda, who promptly stuffed it in his mouth. "Are you feeling ok?"  
"Ok? Yeah, I feel ok. I feel great. I mean, usually I only feel this happy when I get to slice something up, but now I feel, like, really happy. I wanna buy a trampoline. They look fun."  
Kanda was back to looking at everything.  
"Let me guess. You gave him loads of sugar," Lenalee sighed, walking up to the table.  
"Lavi did it!" Allen said quickly, ignoring Kanda saying, "Did what? Did you kill someone, rabbit? Huh? Did ya? I bet you buried the body in the forest."  
Lenalee sighed again. "Ok, let's set the record. NEVER give Kanda too much sugar. Once he ate this huge block of chocolate when there was nothing else to eat. He tried to eat my pigtails next."  
She grabbed Kanda's wrist and pulled him to his feet.  
"We should just keep him in his room for now, at least until he calms down a little and stops bouncing."  
"Woah, where're we going, Lenalee? Are we going on a bear hunt?"  
She sighed. "Yes, Kanda, we are. We are going on a bear hunt."  
The two boys followed behind, just in case Kanda did something crazy. Lavi was recording this entire incident in his mind, fascinated by the revelation that Kanda could become hyper from sugar.  
As Miranda was passing by their odd little procession, Kanda suddenly wrested his hand from Lenalee's grip and threw his arms around the poor German girl in a hug.  
"You are sooooo BEAUTIFUL," he garbled.  
"Uh...what? K-Kanda?" Miranda stuttered, completely confused.  
"Sorry, Miranda, Kanda's on a sugar high-"  
"EVERYTHING is totally brilliant, isn't it?!" the swordsman suddenly yelled, releasing Miranda and grabbing Lavi by the shoulders.  
"Look at that brilliant Finder!" he said, pointing to a random bearded man who smiled nervously and backed away. "Look at his brilliant beard... I should grow a beard... I should grow a beard!" He then started giggling at the ceiling.  
Sighing, Allen and Lavi took hold of Kanda's shoulders to guide him towards his room. Just then, the swordsman started sprinting away.  
"Agh! After him, damn it!" Lenalee cried, already activating her boots and speeding away in pursuit.  
The three searched had searched almost every corner of Headquarters before they finally found Kanda bouncing on a large trampoline in the training room, next to which a very sulky-looking Timothy was standing.  
"Stupid Kanda pushed me off and started using it without even asking," the Parisian grumbled. "And since when does Kanda even like stuff like this?"  
"Since a certain redhead gave him too much sugar," Lenalee answered.  
Allen pulled himself onto the trampoline, carefully moving so that Kanda's bouncing wouldn't throw him off balance. Noticing the boy, Kanda suddenly tackled Allen to the black stretchy material of the trampoline and wrapped his arms around him, nuzzling the white hair.  
"K-Kanda, what the heck are you doing?!"  
"I'm snuggling you! SNUGGLE  
WITH ME, BEAN SPROUT! SNUGGLE!"  
"No, Kanda, no snuggling with Allen in the training room. You can do it in your room, ok?" Lenalee said, carefully pulling Allen from Kanda's death snuggle.  
"Ok!" Kanda grabbed Allen by the collar of his shirt and sprinted to his room, throwing the boy through the door and diving in after him.  
"Quick, block the door!" Lavi and Lenalee quickly stacked furniture from the empty room next door in front of the door, so that there was no way Kanda (or Allen) could get out without help.  
"NO! LAVI! LENALEE! DON'T TRAP ME IN HERE! NO, KANDA, STOP HUGGING- GAH! GETOFFGETOFFGETOFF YOU'RE SQUASHING ME KANDA, YOU IDIOT!" Allen screamed from within.  
"HUUUUGS!"  
"AAAAAAAGGHHHH!"  
Lavi and Lenalee sighed with relief and went to finish their breakfast.

* * *

AN: Hee hee. Hee hee. HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE.

I started this AAAAGES ago, but due to a mixture of me having to pretend to actually be normal by leaving my room AND working on other stories, I only just finished.  
Please review!


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